My mothers wisdom the other day was that these years are going to be the toughest that I'm ever going to face but I can make it thru them it's going to get easier / I sure hope so! Tonight's conversation with Dylan showed me I can still feel and my heart does exist somewhere inside -My boys spent the weekend with their father and like most when they come home Dylan is upset. While sitting down watching Food Challenge and pumpkin carving he asked me where I met his dad and I told him and his question was why I picked such a mean daddy. I tried to answer the best i could and then he asked for a new one and if could find and meet one for him and I said I'd try my best to find a new a one but it's not that easy. My only answer that i could come up with is for him to ask God. So side note as I am retelling this umm this is a news flash I have tear ducts holy crap anyone that knows me knows it takes mountains moving and seas to part for me to cry and well I shed a tear.... Wow ok